Teaching, Day 1.

Before I go further, I would like to point out that I am one of those idiots who did almost no research before coming over here. I knew a couple of people who taught ESL in the states, and they had students who knew a bit of English and worked on their pronunciation and taught them idioms. I assumed this would be my situation.

I arrived a bit early. The school was closed. The first classes begin at 9:50, and I was there at around 8:30, so that I could spend some time familiarizing myself with the new set of materials. Unfortunately, no one came until 9:30, and I had a twenty minute rundown of what I was to teach. The first week for kindergarten was welcoming week. We had one song to go over, and the rest of the time was for getting to know one another.

The first class comes, and it was all 5 or 6 year olds(Korean age). This was hippo class. I introduce myself and ask their names. I then realize that none of them speak any English. A little while later, one of my co-teachers came in and assigned them English names. I then spent the rest of the 70 minute class teaching them animals and basic greetings. We also did the hello song.

The next class was a breeze, because they were third year kindergartners. They spoke great English and loved to talk about themselves. The third class was a nightmare. These were first year 6-7 year olds(korean age). Before I started teaching them, I had to give them lunch and eat with them. Some of them ate everything, some of them thew the food around the classroom, and some of them just sat and stared at their food. Then the class began.

A couple of the students just pointed and laughed at me. A few sat and wanted to listen. One girl thought it was hilarious to run to the front of the class, grab a spare marker and draw hearts and poop on the board. After I put all the markers in my pocket, she would run to the front and try to rip the marker I was using out of my hand. At this point, I started raising my voice. Everyone erupted into laughter. I wanted this girl to stand out in the hall, but she thought it was a game and started running around the desks. I managed to pin her and drag her out into the hall. When I came back, all of the kids were running across the tops of the desks. Finally the bell rang, and I could go on to perform my bus duties. I told them all with wild hand gestures that they needed to get their coats and backpacks and line up for the bus.

I finally got my much needed break of twenty minutes. I met the Scottish teacher and had a smoke with him out on the street after the buses left. While we were getting to know each other, I witnessed my first adjeoshi brawl. A few buildings down, two drunk old Korean men were having a disagreement over God knows what. They started pushing and slapping until their friends broke it up. We went back in, and I sorted out my books for the second half of my day.

My first elementary class was also a nightmare. These students were all first or second grade and spoke absolutely no English except for what they had learned on various Gag shows. I handed out their books and told them/mimed open to page 1. Some chubby smartass responded, "No! Puck You!" I said, "Excuse me? Open to page 1." He kept on repeating the three English words he knew, and I told him to leave. He refused, so I had to carry his bulky ass and chair out the door.

The other two classes that day went swimmingly, and I passed out quite early that night.